Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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