Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
