how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
