the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
