you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
