Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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