How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
