dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
