we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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