I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
