Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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