8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I could fuck to npr.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
