Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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