how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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