I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
