just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize