dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
