whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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