the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Randomize
