ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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