Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
