His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We're too hungover to prance.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
