Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
operation harelip BJ is a go
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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