he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize