Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
