Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
