he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
