You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
