Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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