Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We left an ass print on the piano.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
