he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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