My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
These tits shall not be calmed
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
