those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
