do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
