Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
