You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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