Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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