paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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