I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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