the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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