you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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