I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
