so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
