If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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