Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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