he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
