I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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