He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
