i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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