I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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