I wanna bring you to show and tell
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
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