Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
