U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
