I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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