Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
