she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize