sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
