I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
