I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
