The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
