in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
