You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We just shotgunned beers for America
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
