ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
