ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
