She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
