Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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