3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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