Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
