Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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